My Hallucinated love story!
I flew, I jumped , I dived , I saw, I conquered, And I laughed. My heart
beats and I love the Rhythmic Ups and Downs, sometimes the wi-fi doesn't work,
the whatsapp doesn't ping, There's no reminder of the coffee getting cold, and
no one to show the drooled over almond choco fudge strangely adorning the
face.I am not sexy I'm one in 1.21 billion...but I'm Alive!
Being alive though, never seems to be enough, you got to have
a dream you got to chase that dream and in between these two dear aspects you
got to find that somebody with whom you can share your dream and then your life
just because Robinson Crusoe is a metaphor.
Some find that somebody as early as a baby finds a diaper around his
abdomen. Some take time allowing their’ somebody’ to grow up a little more and
some even find them when they work to earn their living. However there are
some who are too lazy to move their eyes and this precisely is the reason
behind the success of various matrimonial sites. Thus I say ‘ Somebody is just
a click away’.
At 25 these categories confuse me. I don’t wear diapers any more (laugh
at that) , and my pay cheque is still three steps away. The normal discourse
hence is- I am lazy or there are faults in my star. Well lazy is a gross
underestimation, I doubt my stars though.
I like a lot of people (men to be specific), unfortunately I have
never fallen in eternal love with anyone of them. I have allowed myself the
petty pleasures of an uncontrolled desire of having ‘somebody’ by my side when
I am petulant or talk over the phone when the moon forms the waves in the sky
or to just binge in a KFC restaurant to kill time with love. These
are hyperbole statements! Or the honeymoon phase. Love definitely is not a
figment of imagination it is a feeling that doesn’t swing with the mood.
Most
of us substitute with what has to be substantiated with love. Friends are not
always lovers and lover not always a friend. Companionship does not imply love
it can be a choice too. Love doesn’t have validity but it needs a recharge
quite often. Those who understand the demands of love continue to acknowledge
it and those who get bored try to rise against it comfortably blaming it all on
love. To fall in love is driving down the slope with ignition off but to keep
it accelerated once you reach the plains is tedious. I don’t think it is
abnormal to not be in love, after all a liking for non-vegetarian food doesn’t
mean you can eat the dog you are holding the leash of .You got to respect the
preferences of your taste buds.
I am not in love, I am not waiting for the right time I don’t know what
right time is. I have no understanding of the right man also. I only want to
spare myself the horror of the hallucination of being in love. I don’t want to
be with anybody who makes me feel like somebody and decides to switch over when
he realizes that I have been smiling the same way since ages. There’s nothing bigger an
offence than stealing someone else’s sunshine to live a moment and get sun
burnt for the rest of your life. Thank god the future is forgiving!
Sooner or later I would find the man who can sing a song only I
can hear till then I grant the liberty to confusion to breathe some more &
keep the hallucination at bay.
P.S: Jism ki baat nahi thi unke dil tak jaana tha, lambi doori tay karne mein waqt to lagta hai-
toast to the song of love.
Signing off
Srishti
